Have a Helping of Family Fun Leftovers

Who doesn't love Thanksgiving leftovers? You can't beat that turkey sandwich on Friday or a slice of cold pumpkin pie. But what about all of that family fun and time spent together yesterday? There's plenty of that to last throughout the year!

As National Family Week comes to a close, consider carrying that holiday spirit past the holidays. Why not start a regular Family Fun Night? Life can be pretty hectic, pulling your valuable time away from the family. Designate a special night each week to spend only with your family. Turn off the TV, put away the cell phone and get to know those people living in your house.

There are an unlimited list of things you can do.

• Have a story night and read aloud some of your favorite books together, a sort of family book club. Not only will your children's reading skills improve, but you will get a better understanding of their likes and dislikes and even expose yourself to a wider variety of literature.
• Pull out those classic board games and show them a thing or two about how to conquer Monopoly. A little competitive fun never hurt anyone, and your children will learn more about teamwork and how not to be a sore loser.
• Put on a family talent show and show off your skills. Try for the longest hula hooping, play an instrument or do a magic trick. Recognizing your child's special abilities will help boost their self esteem.

Try out a few of these website for more ideas, or post your own ideas here for others to share!

• http://kidsactivities.suite101.com/article.cfm/family_night_fun_ideas_without_tv
• http://childparenting.about.com/od/activitiesandfun/a/gamenight.htm
• http://www.learningtreasures.com/article_1004.htm
• http://frugaldad.com/2008/02/01/planning-a-frugal-family-fun-night/

Pass the Turkey - Hold the Stress, Please

There are now less then 24 hours until Thanksgiving Day, and hopefully your stress levels are still within normal range. Unless, that is, your normal range is over-stressed anyway. If your family is like the rest of ours, and not exactly up to Rockwell standards, then you are probably already stressing over tomorrow's Thanksgiving Day scene. But stop -- there are things you can do to lower your stress and actually enjoy the holiday with your family.

• Do not expect perfection. The day does not have to be perfect, and most likely will not be.

Many people feel extreme pressure to present the perfect holiday to their family. Television commercials and glossy magazine ads would have us believe that the perfect Thanksgiving dinner is attainable with enough decorations and smiles. But it's really okay if the napkin rings do not match the centerpiece, or if you don't even have a centerpiece (and who really uses napkins rings anyway?). The point of the holiday is to spend time with family, not turn your home into a Southern Living photo shoot.

• Have a plan in place for difficult relatives.

You can almost guarantee that Aunt Edna will make a veiled attack on your yams, and your cousin Susan will likely reveal way too much about her current boyfriend. These things are as much of a holiday tradition as the pulling of the wishbone, so get ready. For those fairly innocent yet annoying issues, simply think of a response that will diffuse the situation so you can move on quickly. For Aunt Edna, perhaps saying "I hope you like the dish, I try my best. Maybe you have some tips for me that will improve it even more", will stop the passive aggressiveness.

If more serious issues are expected to arise, such as a relative who is verbally abusive, set the expectation with that relative before the big day that absolutely no aggression will be tolerated. By telling that person that you will be forced to leave the celebration, or that they will have to leave, you are letting them know there are consequences to their actions. The outcome may be that they leave the anger at the door this year. If that doesn't happen, and things get out of control, it is in the best interest of your family to remove that person or yourself from the situation and seek professional family counseling. The worst thing you can do is ignore the problem and suffer through the stress of it year after year.

So if you're facing the minimal conflicts that come along with simple personality clashes, just take a deep breath and roll with it. Family quirks are what they are and should not be reason to ruin the holiday. But if you are facing serious issues that affect the entire family, consider seeking professional assistance. The Partnership for Families, Children and Adults offers individual and family counseling to work through the issues of depression, anxiety, stress, anger and many other mental health issues that often debilitate a family. Visit www.partnershipfca.com or call (423) 755-2822 for more information and assistance.

So pass the turkey, hold the stress and have a Happy Thanksgiving.

Caring for Elderly Family Members at the Holidays

The holidays just wouldn't be the same without grandma's pecan pie and grandpa telling old family stories before the holiday dinner. Or maybe you have a great aunt who completely "runs the show" and the family wouldn't even know how to set the table without her instruction. So what do you do when these beloved family members, because of age, are no longer able to carry out these time-honored family traditions?

It can be difficult to handle the reality of an aging family member during the holidays. Suddenly those holiday traditions you've carried out your entire life seem at risk. You may even be facing depression, stress and anxiety from both yourself and your elderly family member at the thought of changing your holiday traditions. What do you do?

First, remember that all families go through this at some point. Change is inevitable. It's just a matter of how you handle it.

• Talk to your elderly family member about sharing the responsibility, or passing the responsibility, of carrying out the tradition.
• Include other family members in the discussion so you are not taking on all the responsibility, which means all the stress as well. You may gain a fresh perspective by including siblings, cousins or other family members.
• Consider the possibility that you may have to change the tradition altogether and be prepared to consider new family traditions to take the place of old ones. This can be a way to honor your elderly family member by remember together as a family all the fond memories you've had. Make sure to again include other family members in considering new traditions.

If your elderly family member has passed away, make sure to take time to honor that family member. Consider a moment of silence, a prayer or other gesture of respect that fits in with your family's values. Share stories, pictures and talk about that family member. If yourself or others are experiencing extreme grief, consider talking to a professional counselor for help. Loss and grief can be magnified during the holidays and may affect your relationships with family and friends.

If your elderly family member is in assisted living and not able to attend traditional family gatherings, make sure to take the family to that person. Pay a special visit to make sure they feel included in the celebrations.

Need more advice or referrals to local services? Call the Partnership's Elderly Services at (423) 755-2822 for help.

National Family Week This Week!

It's National Family Week this Thanksgiving week, and what better time to reflect on your own family's strengths and connections? There are many things you can do with your family that will help you build stronger relationships not only with each other, but also with your community. The Partnership is offering tips and suggestions this week on celebrating National Family Week, including:

• How to honor senior family members and celebrate old family traditions.
• How to have a stress-free Thanksgiving holiday.
• How to keep the holiday spirit past the holidays and celebrate your family throughout the entire year.
• How to start a new family tradition with a Family Fun Night.

How will you celebrate National Family Week this week? Post a comment and share your own fun ideas and activities with us! Or visit any of the links below for great ideas:

http://www.funology.com/

http://familyfun.go.com/

http://www.familieswithpurpose.com/

http://www.familyeducation.com/home/

You don't have to be perfect to be a perfect parent

November is Adoption Awareness Month, and we want you to know that there are thousands of teens in foster care who would be happy to put up with you as parents, even though you're not perfect. In fact, the Partnership is currently working with nearly 50 youth in foster care who need the love and stability a permanent family can offer.

Statistics indicate that it would take less than 1 percent of the American population to give every waiting child a home!

If you'd be interested in adopting a teen or becoming a foster parent, contact the Partnership today at 423.755.2725.