I’m not sure what I expected, my only previous real life experience with the police amounting to traffic tickets and stern looks discouraging shoplifting* when I was a teenager. Whatever I actually expected, the reality of police officers turned out to be much more pedestrian. Officers from every department in the region filtered in as 9:00 rolled around, some in uniform and some in street clothes, some carrying a weapon and some unarmed, some old and some young, male and female, black white and Hispanic, some in fighting trim and some…well, still in much better shape than me. Before class started they sat around talking about, well, exactly the sorts of things everyone talks about with their coworkers: how much sleep newborns were costing them, what movies they’d seen, how a weekend trip had gone. It was almost as if – and I know this is shocking - they were regular people doing a job and trying to get by, just like you and me.
I was still dubious of course, but the seed of doubt had been planted. Then the class started and the first order of business was for everyone to introduce themselves and say a little bit about why they were there and what their experience with domestic abuse was. There were one or two answers that made me cringe and a handful of admissions that an officer was only there because they had to be, but they were outweighed by the heartfelt responses that – and here’s what finally started to turn me – many of these officers felt frustrated that there was nothing they could do to help the women and the small handful of men they encountered in domestic violence cases, often over and over, besides arresting an abusive spouse or intimate partner who would only later be let go and allowed to redouble his abuse once he got back home. I had always imagined the police the same way a teenager thinks of his parents – here were people whose only goal in life was to punish people every chance they got, for no reason other than that it was fun. The realization that none of them were rabid authoritarian fascists and that many if not most of them were just as concerned with protecting the innocent as punishing the guilty was about as shocking as finally realizing that my parents no more enjoyed grounding me than I enjoyed being grounded. It humanized them and gave me a sense of respect that had been missing before.
Sadly though, a desire to help and an understanding of how to do so, especially without also causing harm, are not the same thing, which is why Jack Parks and the Partnership were involved. There was actually a dedicated domestic violence task force in Tennessee between 1996 and 2000 that took the annual domestic violence related murder rate down from the twenties to the low single digits for its entire run before sadly running out of funding and the Partnership, the Police Department and the state of Tennessee want to try and repeat that success. In fact Chris Chambers, one of the veteran officers of the original task force, was the one teaching the class. The Partnership’s role in all this is providing the officers with a framework for learning and access to the sort of resources and services they can use to help victims and survivors of abuse, as well as writing and overseeing the grant to make sure that a lack of funding doesn’t stop lives from being saved later on this time.
But what did they actually cover in the class? I was only there for one morning out of the whole week of speeches from survivors of domestic abuse, role-playing and tests, mind you, but in the span of just a few hours I was exposed to a lot. First of all, it turns out that I’m not the only person who’s had trouble trusting the police, and that for all their good intentions some of this mistrust on the part of domestic violence victims is justified. Apparently it’s not uncommon for an officer to arrest the victim of domestic abuse as well as the abuser, usually because the victim is hysterical and uncooperative when they arrive compared to the abuser, who – as you can read about in the links below – is often such a consummate manipulator or bully that he is calm and composed by that time, granting him an air of legitimacy that throws the victim in a bad light. The officers in class defended this behavior at first, mostly on the grounds that the victims often seemed to pose a danger to themselves or got in the way of arresting the abuser. When Officer Chambers told them that arresting the victim, who will then be reluctant to contact the police again, increases that person’s odds of being murdered by their abuser by something like 75%, more than a few eyes went wide and no-one else spoke up.
Another issue of police mistrust, and one I was genuinely surprised was brought up, had to do with domestic abuse in same-sex relationships. Officer Chambers made a point to mention that not only does this abuse happen and make sure it was treated with the respect it deserved, he also drove home that when it does happen, whether it’s in a lesbian or gay couple, the rates of serious injury and murder are much higher. He didn’t have an answer when one officer asked why, but I think this quote from aardvark.org sheds some light on the issue:
Facing a system which is often oppressive and hostile towards those who identify as anything other than "straight", those involved in same-gender battering frequently report being afraid of revealing their sexual orientation or the nature of their relationship. Additionally, even those who attempt to report violence in their alterative relationship run into obstacles. Police officers, prosecutors, judges and others to whom a GLBT victim may turn to for help may have difficulty in providing the same level of service as to a heterosexual victim. Not only might personal attitudes towards the GLBT community come into play, but these providers may have inadequate levels of experience and training to work with GLBT victims and flimsy or non-existant laws to enforce on behalf of the victim.
It’s sad but true that we have a long way to go when it comes to protecting every member of our society equally, but the effort is still being made by good people of all political stripes, and I think that’s really all we can ask for now. The officers seemed to take the information seriously, which I hope speaks to their interactions with GLBT individuals in our community.
Racial and economic demographics were also brought up, and the information was startling – it turns out that one of the most underreported groups victimized by domestic abuse, and by extension one of the most vulnerable, is upper-middle class and professional women, since they often feel they have more to lose in leaving their abusers and those same abusers have more resources, social and economic, to bring to bear in keeping their victims silent, helpless and compliant. This came as a potent reminder that abuse and victimization of women pays only lip service to race, creed, nationality and class.
One of the important topics that tied back specifically into the Partnership was making sure that the officers know about and know how to utilize the resources and programs the Partnership provides. The most frequently mentioned frustrations in the classroom were that the officers had no real power besides arrest over the fates of victims in their cases and that even when they did get someone help they felt cut off from them, even though the victim is often still in danger if their abuser is released from custody; Sadly, one of the more common ways for an abuser to stay out of prison is for their victim to refuse to testify in court, either from embarrassment or a very understandable sense of fear. For the first complaint, it was made clear to the officers that not only is their assistance encouraged, but that a referral from a law enforcement officer to the Partnership is always taken seriously and dealt with immediately. As to the second complaint, they were assured that not only will the Partnership help keep them in touch with the people they’re trying to protect, but that the digital cameras they were provided as part of the class would prove to be potent tools for gathering evidence at the scene of the crime while it was still fresh, which would prove vital to keeping a dangerous abuser away from his victim even if the victim doesn’t testify in court.
Finally, Officer Chambers covered more about domestic abuse than just violence. He reminded everyone that it's only in the last few years that forced sex within marriage has been classified as rape, and that sexual assault and forced pregnancy are still often used as a means of controlling a victim. He also discussed psychological, emotional, and financial abuse, none of which are things I imagine the officers could help with directly, but knowledge of which will help them know what to look for when they're called as well as what evidence to gather for when a case comes to court.
So how has my opinion of the police changed after sitting in on this class? I still don’t think of them as heroes, really, but it’s probably better just to know that they’re regular people with a desire to do good and protect people who can’t protect themselves. All other things aside though, if I had to choose anyone to protect the women (and some of the men) in my life if, God forbid, they’re ever in an abusive relationship, I can’t think of anyone I would welcome more than the police and the Partnership.
*I never shoplifted, I just looked like I would have so I guess I don’t blame them.
Note: If you are currently in a relationship which you feel is unsafe or abusive, please be aware that there is no way to safely browse a computer if someone is dedicated to invading your privacy or monitoring your actions. This includes text messaging, e-mail, and instant messaging. If you feel you are in imminent danger or would be if your spouse or significant other discovered you researching this topic or reaching out for help, please go to the police, one of the Partnership's shelters, a computer at the library or a school, or even just a friend or relative’s house before you do anything else. You have options, you don’t have to deal with it alone, you DO NOT have to tolerate any kind of abuse one moment longer than you already have. Please be safe.
Important Domestic Abuse Links:
The Partnership's Sexual Assault Crisis and Resource Center
The Partnership's Family Violence Center
The Partnership's Emergency Shelter for Families
Aardvarc.org: A collection of important information and resources provided by survivors of relationship and domestic abuse and violance.
Nnedv.org: A guide on how to safely use the internet and computers if you are currently in an abusive relationship.
Helpguide.org: An article on the signs that you are in an abusive relationship or that someone you know is trapped in an abusive situation.
1 comment:
regular people with a desire to do good and protect people who can’t protect themselves.
Sounds like a Hero to me
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