Beat Holiday Stress

If the thought of upcoming holidays fill you with dread, you’re not alone. Many people get stretched pretty thin this time of year by money and social obligations. Here are some ways to keep your sleigh on track this season.

1. Set realistic expectations. Things aren’t going to go perfectly and that’s ok. You can’t control every outcome, but you can prepare yourself mentally by visualizing your calm, positive response to negative events.

2. Get moving. It’s not the chores, shopping, and Uncle Stanley’s visit that’s stressing you out – it’s your anticipation of them! Act now by creating a to-do list, and tackle one or two items per week through the holidays.

3. Avoid the shotgun approach. You’ll accomplish more by tackling one thing at time and giving it your full attention.

4. Budget your holiday expenditures. Set per person limits on gift giving and stick to them. Don’t overlook special outlays for travel, decorations, food and entertainment.

5. Pay as you go. Charging your purchases may delay your bills, but knowing they’re waiting for you in January increases stress.

6. Play to your strengths. Utilize what you have the most of – time, money, or creativity.

7. Pare down on gift giving. For extended family and social groups, suggest each person give just one gift by drawing names out of a hat.

Check back soon for more holiday stressbusters.

Partnership Participating in Scenic City Half Marathon and Charity Challenge

We just got word that the Partnership has been accepted to participate in the Scenic City Half Marathon and Charity Challenge. The event is Saturday, February 28, 2009, and we're seeking runners, walkers and volunteers for the 5k run, 5k walk, and half marathon.

This is an event the whole family can enjoy, so please join the Partnership team and help us raise awareness and funds for our 23 programs that are empowering people to build better lives.

Neediest Cases Campaign is Underway!

Each year, the Chattanooga Times Free Press and the Partnership for Families, Children and Adults partner in an effort to raise funds for people in need in our community. Last year's campaign has allowed the Partnership to provide assistance to 350 individuals and families already this year. The campaign series will run on Wednesdays and Sundays through December, and you can find the articles online at http://www.partnershipfca.com/ or http://www.timesfreepress.com/.

New to the campaign this year is the ability to donate online at http://www.timesfreepress.com/.

The Partnership is thankful for this long-standing relationship with the paper through this campaign; without it, many families in our community would be unable to meet their most basic of needs.

Adopt a teen and brighten someone's holidays

Imagine how good it would feel to recieve clothing, toys or even a gift card for your child during the holidays, especially if you had no way of providing simple gifts -- or even necessities -- yourself. This is what your contribution can do for a family in need this year.

Please help us brighten the holidays for the teens currently residing in the Partnership's four group homes. At this moment, 27 teens still have not been "adopted" for the holidays, and we need your help.

A wish list is available, but any contribution you can make, no matter how large or small, will make the holidays a happier time for a youth who has little to call her own.

With your help and big heart, we can make the holiday season a joyous one. For more information, call 423.755.2785.

Nutcracker Sweets

Nutcracker Sweets is almost here! The third annual dessert tasting event, benefiting the Partnership's crisis services, is tomorrow night, from 6-8 pm at Bessie Smith Hall. You won't want to miss the live music, delectable desserts, silent auction and gift shop, and our new signature cocktail, the wintertini.

Tickets are $25 each, and can be purchased online or at the door.

Items for sale include wreaths, poinsettias, hand painted ceramic ornaments, crystal jewelry, and insulated coffee mugs, good for free coffee refills at Main & Mocha during the month of January, on sale for just $15 each and pre-decorated, ready to gift.

Have a Helping of Family Fun Leftovers

Who doesn't love Thanksgiving leftovers? You can't beat that turkey sandwich on Friday or a slice of cold pumpkin pie. But what about all of that family fun and time spent together yesterday? There's plenty of that to last throughout the year!

As National Family Week comes to a close, consider carrying that holiday spirit past the holidays. Why not start a regular Family Fun Night? Life can be pretty hectic, pulling your valuable time away from the family. Designate a special night each week to spend only with your family. Turn off the TV, put away the cell phone and get to know those people living in your house.

There are an unlimited list of things you can do.

• Have a story night and read aloud some of your favorite books together, a sort of family book club. Not only will your children's reading skills improve, but you will get a better understanding of their likes and dislikes and even expose yourself to a wider variety of literature.
• Pull out those classic board games and show them a thing or two about how to conquer Monopoly. A little competitive fun never hurt anyone, and your children will learn more about teamwork and how not to be a sore loser.
• Put on a family talent show and show off your skills. Try for the longest hula hooping, play an instrument or do a magic trick. Recognizing your child's special abilities will help boost their self esteem.

Try out a few of these website for more ideas, or post your own ideas here for others to share!

• http://kidsactivities.suite101.com/article.cfm/family_night_fun_ideas_without_tv
• http://childparenting.about.com/od/activitiesandfun/a/gamenight.htm
• http://www.learningtreasures.com/article_1004.htm
• http://frugaldad.com/2008/02/01/planning-a-frugal-family-fun-night/

Pass the Turkey - Hold the Stress, Please

There are now less then 24 hours until Thanksgiving Day, and hopefully your stress levels are still within normal range. Unless, that is, your normal range is over-stressed anyway. If your family is like the rest of ours, and not exactly up to Rockwell standards, then you are probably already stressing over tomorrow's Thanksgiving Day scene. But stop -- there are things you can do to lower your stress and actually enjoy the holiday with your family.

• Do not expect perfection. The day does not have to be perfect, and most likely will not be.

Many people feel extreme pressure to present the perfect holiday to their family. Television commercials and glossy magazine ads would have us believe that the perfect Thanksgiving dinner is attainable with enough decorations and smiles. But it's really okay if the napkin rings do not match the centerpiece, or if you don't even have a centerpiece (and who really uses napkins rings anyway?). The point of the holiday is to spend time with family, not turn your home into a Southern Living photo shoot.

• Have a plan in place for difficult relatives.

You can almost guarantee that Aunt Edna will make a veiled attack on your yams, and your cousin Susan will likely reveal way too much about her current boyfriend. These things are as much of a holiday tradition as the pulling of the wishbone, so get ready. For those fairly innocent yet annoying issues, simply think of a response that will diffuse the situation so you can move on quickly. For Aunt Edna, perhaps saying "I hope you like the dish, I try my best. Maybe you have some tips for me that will improve it even more", will stop the passive aggressiveness.

If more serious issues are expected to arise, such as a relative who is verbally abusive, set the expectation with that relative before the big day that absolutely no aggression will be tolerated. By telling that person that you will be forced to leave the celebration, or that they will have to leave, you are letting them know there are consequences to their actions. The outcome may be that they leave the anger at the door this year. If that doesn't happen, and things get out of control, it is in the best interest of your family to remove that person or yourself from the situation and seek professional family counseling. The worst thing you can do is ignore the problem and suffer through the stress of it year after year.

So if you're facing the minimal conflicts that come along with simple personality clashes, just take a deep breath and roll with it. Family quirks are what they are and should not be reason to ruin the holiday. But if you are facing serious issues that affect the entire family, consider seeking professional assistance. The Partnership for Families, Children and Adults offers individual and family counseling to work through the issues of depression, anxiety, stress, anger and many other mental health issues that often debilitate a family. Visit www.partnershipfca.com or call (423) 755-2822 for more information and assistance.

So pass the turkey, hold the stress and have a Happy Thanksgiving.

Caring for Elderly Family Members at the Holidays

The holidays just wouldn't be the same without grandma's pecan pie and grandpa telling old family stories before the holiday dinner. Or maybe you have a great aunt who completely "runs the show" and the family wouldn't even know how to set the table without her instruction. So what do you do when these beloved family members, because of age, are no longer able to carry out these time-honored family traditions?

It can be difficult to handle the reality of an aging family member during the holidays. Suddenly those holiday traditions you've carried out your entire life seem at risk. You may even be facing depression, stress and anxiety from both yourself and your elderly family member at the thought of changing your holiday traditions. What do you do?

First, remember that all families go through this at some point. Change is inevitable. It's just a matter of how you handle it.

• Talk to your elderly family member about sharing the responsibility, or passing the responsibility, of carrying out the tradition.
• Include other family members in the discussion so you are not taking on all the responsibility, which means all the stress as well. You may gain a fresh perspective by including siblings, cousins or other family members.
• Consider the possibility that you may have to change the tradition altogether and be prepared to consider new family traditions to take the place of old ones. This can be a way to honor your elderly family member by remember together as a family all the fond memories you've had. Make sure to again include other family members in considering new traditions.

If your elderly family member has passed away, make sure to take time to honor that family member. Consider a moment of silence, a prayer or other gesture of respect that fits in with your family's values. Share stories, pictures and talk about that family member. If yourself or others are experiencing extreme grief, consider talking to a professional counselor for help. Loss and grief can be magnified during the holidays and may affect your relationships with family and friends.

If your elderly family member is in assisted living and not able to attend traditional family gatherings, make sure to take the family to that person. Pay a special visit to make sure they feel included in the celebrations.

Need more advice or referrals to local services? Call the Partnership's Elderly Services at (423) 755-2822 for help.

National Family Week This Week!

It's National Family Week this Thanksgiving week, and what better time to reflect on your own family's strengths and connections? There are many things you can do with your family that will help you build stronger relationships not only with each other, but also with your community. The Partnership is offering tips and suggestions this week on celebrating National Family Week, including:

• How to honor senior family members and celebrate old family traditions.
• How to have a stress-free Thanksgiving holiday.
• How to keep the holiday spirit past the holidays and celebrate your family throughout the entire year.
• How to start a new family tradition with a Family Fun Night.

How will you celebrate National Family Week this week? Post a comment and share your own fun ideas and activities with us! Or visit any of the links below for great ideas:

http://www.funology.com/

http://familyfun.go.com/

http://www.familieswithpurpose.com/

http://www.familyeducation.com/home/

You don't have to be perfect to be a perfect parent

November is Adoption Awareness Month, and we want you to know that there are thousands of teens in foster care who would be happy to put up with you as parents, even though you're not perfect. In fact, the Partnership is currently working with nearly 50 youth in foster care who need the love and stability a permanent family can offer.

Statistics indicate that it would take less than 1 percent of the American population to give every waiting child a home!

If you'd be interested in adopting a teen or becoming a foster parent, contact the Partnership today at 423.755.2725.